Imposter syndrome is real and there are plenty of people ready to reinforce it for us.

After freelancing on and off for a fairly small agency, they asked me to cover the head of production while she was on maternity leave. Of course the usual feelings of "I'm not senior enough, I'm not good enough, I don't know if people respect me enough" were there, but I was encouraged to have been asked and decided to go for it. I knew the team, I knew the clients, I knew the job.

The first month or so was good, I was feeling confident and was respected.

A new (freelance) creative director had recently joined. We eventually worked together on a project for the agencies biggest client. (A notoriously difficult client, who ran a toxic and abusive ship - the agency was beaten down by them on every project). Our working relationship started OK, but soon began to deteriorate after he continually left me out of meetings, ignored my well informed suggestions, put me down in front of the team and more. He teamed up with the Business Director and the vendetta against me was solidified. I was belittled at every turn.

I was at a loss. I actually spoke up to the MD, and the ECD, who both confided that there had been complaints about him from other members of the team. 2 weeks went by and they assured me things would improve and he would be talked to. Nothing ever happened and I had no option but to leave. I couldn't take the bullying any more. He stayed there for months after I left.

I wish I could say I learned that speaking up is effective and empowering, but it left me feeling exposed, embarrassed and ultimately jobless.

Your Lesson/s : Production is still so widely treated as service role only. Even in the "top" role, respect and a creative voice isn't guaranteed. Imposter syndrome is real and there are plenty of people ready to reinforce it for us.

How did you move forward?: I wish I had called his behaviour out in the room, when it happened, rather than sinking further into my imposter syndrome.